verbal vomit/stream of consciousness part 1

i have been home for 6 months. Sometimes i wish i would have stayed in the bay, but i feel as if God brought me back to Inglewood for a reason. I dont know what that reason is. My female friends have grown distant. They have lives themselves, i've been gone for four years. I understand. All my friends have seem male. LOVE DUDES, but i do want female friends too. I am outta the LOOP. I don't even really have the "LA State of Mind" anymore. i live in a shell in Inglewood,and most of the time i kick it with an 84 yr old woman named Ruby Mae. She is cool and all, i just want to socialize with people my age. I know that i should be getting my life together, like everyone else is doing, and i shouldn't be even concern with this, until i'm settled, but you have to get out and play once and a while. when i DO go out, i have a ton of fun. thats not the problem. i am fine with being alone, but loneliness is awkward. I dont really know what i should do. idol minds are the devil's workshop, and i dont want to be associated with him.